When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive.
In an attempt to rid myself of you,
I have written down every confession
that I should have shared with you
while you were still here.
But instead, I chose to keep it all in
until long after you had been gone.
I have stained blank pages with secrets
that hold the ability to tear down
the thick walls of my heart,
and even while I work to ease
the resistance of each undeniable truth,
there are struggles remaining
that find their way onto the list of things
that I wish I could have made you understand
I have been holding onto your memory
for so long that I no longer know if you are
still here, or if it is your missing presence
that continues to linger on within in my mind.
Either way, your silhouette remains in all
the places that we once explored together;
working as one to reclaim the land as our territory,
and naming our surroundings after the love
that we had created.
And now that all the time has passed
without your love guarding me,
I am realizing that this strength inside of me
is not temporary, and is stable enough
to protect me from everything
that I once feared having to face alone.
You taste like everything I’m supposed to hate, and yet I kiss you as if you were the only thing I was meant to love.